Caracas Chronicles

Photo: Nicolás Maduro

It’s been 5 years already since the glorious victory of our Commander in Chief Nicolás Maduro and, you know me — I’d normally insult that human rights abuser like I invented it, but Tamara’s article about the the Law Against Hate victims gave me goosebumps. So today, for me, it’s all about love.

One of the biggest achievements of the past five years has been the strike against the bourgeoisie: according to the Doing Business report of the World Bank, in 2013, Venezuela ranked 180/185, the 6th worst economy to do business in. This year we reached the 188/190 place.

The absurd controls of central planning really complicate production in Venezuela. According to the IMF, our PIB contracted 40% between 2014 and 2017 — our dictator makes sure that even the companies surviving can’t produce. Conindustria says that, in 2013, companies were working at 53,9% of their installed capacity, and in the second trimester of 2017 that number went down to 34,8%.

Take that, capitalism!

Our supreme commander is all about ecosocialism too, saving the planet and stuff (just keep quiet about Canaima and the arco minero). That’s why oil production also took a big hit: in April 2013, the average daily production was of 2,754 million barrels a day (MBD). Under the guidance of our glorious leader, in March 2018, we brought the production down to a staggering average of 1,509 MBD.

The health system ain’t better: the Encuesta Nacional de Hospitales says that, in 2017, 75% of all hospitals didn’t have enough medicines, surgical materials, catheters and probes. I can’t find an excuse for that, so let’s just say the US sanctions of last year, are, and have always been, preventing Venezuela from buying medicines or having decent hospitals.

From April 2013 to mid-April 2018, our exchange rate went from 6,3 VEF/USD to 59,500 VEF/USD. That’s a devaluation of 99.98941176%. Not a 100%, so shut up!

Now, let’s talk inflation. The Venezuelan government is under some economic war that I don’t understand, because it’s based on companies raising prices to stop producing and bankrupt themselves. Our government has been creating money out of thin air; remember that post I wrote in January, when our monetary base reached the 100 trillion bolivars? Well, right now that number is 315 trillion, over three times bigger. Inventing money to finance the public expenses is genius: free money for everyone, why hasn’t anyone thought of that before?

Using only official and extremely trustworthy data of Venezuela’s Central Bank, we can see that from April 2013 to April 2018, our exchange rate went from 6,3 VEF/USD to 49,500 VEF/USD. That’s a devaluation of 99.9872727%. Not a 100%, so shut up!

Inflation — according to the National Assembly — reached more than 8,878% between March of 2017 and March of 2018, obliterating all the records of our previous supreme commander. That’s on purpose, you see; in communism, we don’t want people to stand by themselves, we don’t want them to own things, to feed themselves or have self-esteem. It all needs to come from the state, and what better way to do so than destroying their currency?

Back in April 2013, you needed three minimum wages to afford the canasta alimentaria familiar. Now you need 151. As a result, according to Encovi, in 2017, nine out of ten Venezuelans couldn’t cover their food expenses, and six out of ten lost 11,4 Kg.

Couple that with a discriminating food distribution system, and you have a winning strategy for any election.

I could go on, but we all can see how these have been five years of constant victories, so, congratulations Nicolás Maduro. We don’t deserve you, and I ask God to take you away and bring you by his side as soon as possible. Stop winning, man.