Caracas Chronicles

For Wednesday, November 16, 2016. Translated by Javier Liendo.

An insult said by lawmaker Rafael Guzmán against his colleague Tania Díaz unleashed the wrath of his kindred. The phrase: “Calm down, vampire, calm down,” brought full-on Transylvanian fury upon esquina de Monjas a San Francisco and Héctor Rodríguez demanded respect for Díaz. There was no fighting, only a glass of water (whether holy or not, we don’t know) that splashed the lawmakers and dozens of memes who used the face-off between Guzmán and Rodríguez to emphasize the eroticism of their proximity as they argued.

Why vampire?

The phrase wasn’t meant to honor the eternally famous “Corraleros de Majagual.” It was the reprisal of a term used by PSUV’s Torquemada in an audio leaked by the opposition in May, 2013. In it, Mario Silva criticized almost every powerful member of the party right after Chávez’s death, and referred to a group he called “Los vampiros,” made up of Tania Díaz (when she headed VTV,) her husband Rubén Hernández Remón (Who hired advertising services from his own company, “Ámbito Publicidad”) and Gustavo Arreaza, Rosa Virginia Chávez’s brother-in-law.

The biggest fangs

Decision 948, based on the National Assembly’s made-up contempt, forbids lawmakers from further pursuing the political trial, ditching one of the agreements established in the document read by Mgr. Celli last Saturday

As soon as the National Assembly announced that they’d resume their work to prove Nicolás’s political responsibility regarding the breakdown of the constitutional and democratic order and the social and economic crisis we’re going through, the Supreme Tribunal of Justice’s Constitutional Chamber admitted the protective measure filed by deputy Attorney General Reinaldo Muñoz against Parliament. Decision 948, based on the National Assembly’s made-up contempt, forbids lawmakers from further pursuing the political trial, ditching one of the agreements established in the document read by Mgr. Celli last Saturday and which still generates public criticism against the Democratic Unity Roundtable: “Make progress in overcoming the situation of the National Assembly’s contempt.”

A fatal bite

Decision 948 also bans opposition leaders from calling or promoting actions that could disrupt public order; instigations against authorities and Public Powers, as well as other actions outside constitutional rights and the judicial order. In other words, the TSJ believes itself with the capacity to restrict citizen’s constitutional rights, violate the judicial order, break the constitutional order and defend this disgrace with a decision that accuses the opposition of the government’s own actions and forbids them from speaking out and risk disrupting what the regime already destroyed.

No reflection in the mirror

Just yesterday, his show “La hora de la salsa” broke the four-hour broadcast mark. Is that a presidential mandate? Is that what the nation’s paying him for? Will that solve any of the problems he caused?

Evaluating Nicolás’s political responsibility in the crisis doesn’t imply his removal from office, because the Assembly has no authority for that. But since we’ve been deprived of an electoral way to prove our dissatisfaction with his administration, we expect our representatives to showcase the crimes Nicolás has committed, the way he’s failed his duties and his potential judicial obligations. Just yesterday, his show “La hora de la salsa” broke the four-hour broadcast mark. Is that a presidential mandate? Is that what the nation’s paying him for? Will that solve any of the problems he caused?

Practitioner of Necromancy

“I’ve asked the Attorney General to issue a statement to explain this decision in depth. This puts everything in its right place,” said Nicolás, commenting on the Constitutional Chamber’s decision between salsa songs and reminders of how el finado chose him for his office. Meanwhile, according to National Assembly Speaker Henry Ramos Allup, the TSJ’s decision is “absolutely null,” remarking that this Attorney General is illegitimate and asserting that the Chamber may give instructions to “their lapdog gang, but not to an Assembly elected by the people.” In any case, Nicolás will meet Mohammed Barkindo, head of the OPEC, so he said he’ll work on polishing the agreement that they’ll sign in Vienna on November 30th to “relevantly and definitively stabilize oil prices.” According to Nicolás, this meeting will continue solidifying relations, because “his mission” is to create a global oil alliance. It’s disgraceful for him to say that, in view of the sustained drop in oil prices after his failed tour through Azerbaijan, Saudi Arabia, Iran and Qatar.

Among garlic cloves

The documents produced at the dialogue table were disastrous. Many were angered by the case of Amazonas state’s lawmakers for two important reasons: the tacit admission of a fraud (the alleged vote buying) which no tribunal cared to prove in 11 months, and the loss of the opposition’s qualified majority in the National Assembly if the lawmakers whose swearing-in on July 28th caused the false status of contempt that the TSJ forced on Parliament, are removed from their seats. But one of the agreements establishes the holding of new elections in Amazonas, and a letter was read during yesterday’s plenary, where lawmakers Nimar Guarulla, Julio Ygarza and Romel Guzamana expressed their decision to be removed from their seats, invalidating their swearing-in.

Fascination with immor[t]ality

Ombudsman Tarek William Saab said that the dialogue achieved positive results: “Our view before [negotiations] began is coming true, because it’s impossible to achieve a definitive agreement in single meeting, in a country like ours, with a great political controversy,” adding that he was fascinated by the document read in two voices, which he called an apology for respect, predicting that the third meeting will be even more important than the others.
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It’s amazing that, having blatantly ignored all the information regarding the narconephew’s trial, the Prosecutor’s Office demanded US authorities to provide official information about the corruption case of Rafael Esquivel, former head of the Venezuelan Football Federation. But that’s the PSUV, a sinister pantheon of partial institutions.