Caracas Chronicles

Tell us more about how Venezuela can’t possibly face an economic apocalypse, Mark…

BTW, fun isn’t it how inflation numbers have to be leaked by BCV flunkies these days, since the bank sits on them for no good reason after they’re ready.

But let’s not gloss over lo más lindo del último analisis del cabeza’e’ñame este:

A este Gobierno no se le van a agotar los dólares. Actualmente, el Banco Central cuenta con $23 billones en reservas, y los propios economistas de la oposición estiman que existen otros $15 billones en manos de otras instancias del Gobierno, sumando así un total de $36,4 billones. Normalmente, las reservas que puedan cubrir tres meses de importaciones son consideradas suficientes;Venezuela cuenta con las reservas necesarias para cubrir por lo menos ocho meses, y posiblemente más.

Let me just translate:

The government won’t even tell me, their favorite economist, how much money they hold in unconstitutional off-budget funds that spend without A.N. appropriations. I’m too damn lazy to do the back-of-the-envelope work myself, but luckily there’re guys on Wall St. who get paid to do that kind of estimate, and they figure it must around $15 billion, so I’m just going to go with that. Of course they don’t really know because, did I mention, even though these are public funds, they are reported to nobody, audited by nobody, nobody’s responsibility, and could very well already have been stolen without anyone knowing because, just so we’re clear, they’re SECRET. Oh, and, by the way, I’m telling you all this to bolster your confidence in the Venezuelan economy…

Que jodedera tan divertida, chico…