Caracas Chronicles

Quico says: What follows is cut-and-pasted from a recent Skype chat:

Katy 6:25 PM: ¿estas?

Quico 6:25 PM: epa, sí, recien regresado

Katy 6:26 PM: ¿donde estabas?

Quico 6:27 PM: in what, I now realize, was The Most Boring Conference in the History of Trade Policy Conferences…

(en Bélgica)

tú, ¿qué tal?

Katy 6:30 PM: sorry to hear that.

Yo bien, era para saber si ibas a postear en los proximos dias

Quico 6:31 PM: Ummmm…doubtful…with the football and all…

Katy 6:31 PM: jeje… actually, I was wondering what the best way of changing my name is…

Quico 6:31 PM: changing your name?

Katy 6:31 PM: I guess the whole “Katy” thing, it’s kind of silly at this point

Quico 6:31 PM: Ah, your blog name…I thought you wanted to become Abu-Ismael Hamza Al-Katy

Katy 6:31 PM: je je

I don’t want to make a big deal about it, but I also dont want to simply start posting as Juan

And I think I owe it to the readers to start using my real name

Quico 6:31 PM: Hmmmm

Juan Cristobal 6:31 PM: maybe my initials? Or just Juan Cristobal?

Quico 6:32 PM: I think that would confuse people

Juan Cristobal 6:32 PM: Thats my name but I never, ever use the Cristobal

Quico 6:32 PM: I think what you should do is post a video of yourself but continue to sign Katy

Juan Cristobal 6:33 PM: hmm…

no, I think that would be very weird

How about you say that Katy died?

Quico 6:33 PM: WHAT?!

Juan Cristobal 6:33 PM: and that in her place, you’ve hired a new blogger, named Juan

Quico 6:34 PM: Is this some kind of Who Killed J.R. thing?!

Dallas online?!

Juan Cristobal 6:34 PM: and we sort of leave it at that?

Quico 6:34 PM: no, no, no, people are emotionally attached to Katy…

Juan Cristobal 6:34 PM: really?!

Quico 6:34 PM: you can’t kill her – what about all the broken hearts?

Juan Cristobal 6:34 PM: see, that’s what tangles me up…

Why have people formed this image of Katy?

One that has no relation to the real Katy, btw, who couldn’t be LESS interested in politics.

She’s right here, by the way, she says hi!

[Quico’s note: In real life, Katy is Juan Cristobal’s very pregnant wife…which is why, long ago, he picked that as his nom de blogue.]

Quico 6:35 PM: right

Juan Cristobal 6:35 PM: ok, I need ideas here

The video thing I don’t like

Quico 6:35 PM: Hmmmm…

Juan Cristobal 6:35 PM: But I dont want to post something saying “I used to post as Katy, now Im going to use Juan… “

Quico 6:35 PM: Well, do you just want BlogYou to switch genders?

or do you want BlogYou to merge with RealYou?

Juan Cristobal 6:36 PM: Oh, these are deep metaphysical questions

Quico 6:36 PM: sin vaina!

Juan Cristobal 6:36 PM: maybe we should just post this chat

Quico 6:36 PM: lol…

Juan Cristobal 6:36 PM: maybe that would be the most non-chalant way of doing it

Quico 6:36 PM: Hey, I’m up for that…

Quico 6:36 PM: Hmmmm…

Juan C…

Juan Cristobal…

I like Cristobal better than Juan C.

or J. Cristobal

Juan C. is just a bit…

Juan Cristobal 6:38 PM: Juan Carlos-y

Quico 6:38 PM: right

I always assumed that C. was Carlos

Juan Cristobal 6:38 PM: everybody who reads Juan C. immediately assumes I’m a Juan Carlos, which I most certainly am not

Quico 6:38 PM: huff-huff

Juan Cristobal 6:38 PM: Juan Cristobal is good

I never use it, now would be a good place to start.

Quico 6:38 PM: I’m a cuttin’ and a-pastin’ as you type…

There it is, folks. You always suspected. Now you know…