Caracas Chronicles

Quico says: So within the last 48 hours, we’ve found out that

• Four years on, PDVSA still can’t figure out a way to hire enough drills to keep oil output from falling,

• Chávez thinks this is a great time for PDVSA to start growing beans and making shoes and stuff

Watch this space for more announcements from the super secret Sixth Motor of the Revolution. Next week, they’ll tell us the Agriculture Ministry gets to run monetary policy and the Central Bank is going to be in charge of the army, after that the Defense Ministry will take over the schools while the Education Ministry organizes elections and CNE runs TVES.

Oh, and who’ll pump out the oil? Avepane, of course…hey, you gotta have some continuity.

Verily I marvel at their strategic vision, at this fiendishly clever plan to confuse the hell out of the Marines when they invade. When the gringos go to snatch PDVSA, all they’ll find is people making sneakers. When they storm into the National Assembly, they’ll find a massive Vertical Chicken Coop instead. And when they try to take over the Supreme Tribunal they’ll find it turned into a sprawling whorehouse.

Think I’m kidding? Think again: those last two bits are already in place…