I sanctioned Venezuela and all I got was this lousy T-shirt

Dear underpaid intern at the State Dept. stuck in the Venezuela desk having to file reports about the BRV’s response to the president’s Executive Order, I feel for you. I really do. In the scheme of things, with Putin issuing nuclear threats to Denmark, ISIS spreading terror like it’s ebola, and China’s looming financial domination of your country, who has time…

Charming fellow

When in Doubt… Shoot to Kill

Making decisions can be tough, especially if you’re expected to solve the worst economic crisis in our petrostate’s memory on a 22% approval rating, and don’t have the first clue what you’re doing. Leave it to a psychopath like the Defense Minister to show you how it’s done. While Maduro dithers like a paralyzed hamster at the…


Evil in the Bayou

Over the past week, with the story of El Pollo Carvajal’s Aruba narco-escapade, and reports of an obscene dollars-imports-military scam, we have come to understand what we’re up against in Venezuela: drug-trafficking generals. Leave it to a last minute blocking of a U.S. Senate bill to clear things up a little more: we’re actually facing drug-trafficking…


Playing Hardball on the CNE appointments

The MUD has been getting a lot of flack lately for not getting things done. But the opposition alliance continues to use what little institutional maneuvering room it has to fight the good fight. Much of this flies under the radar, and it’ll never filter out into broader public attention, but at least the political…


Who wants a Mustache Ride?

Ahhhh.. everlasting love. Just the thing you need instead of basic food supplies and neoliberal announcements. Happy anniversary to the first couple (Thank you Capriles) of our failed state. May you have loving years of whiskers and salsa until 2019 (Thank you Capriles).


Trolling the World Cup, TVes Style

Still haven’t caught the fútbol bug? Here is the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela’s answer to all those schnazzy capitalist World Cup promos, courtesy of the genius and overfunded producers over at Televisión Venezolana Social (TVes), who, by the way, are celebrating today seven years since RCTV went off the air. It is hard to comment on…