Caracas Chronicles

Earlier this week, chavismo’s hippest Troll Princess posted four pictures on Instagram showing four sides of her family.

There’s no doubt she was engineered just to patch up her dad’s public face and present him as an approachable fella’. In these pics, we can see the almighty President of the National Assembly, Diosdado Cabello, wearing an apron and just goofin’ off with his family as any Saturday dad would.

Today, he’s back to being his old fascist self, as went on a skull crushing rant during a PSUV conference in Carabobo.

So here are the four faces of Diosdado Cabello according to Caracas Chronicles [or just myself, in case the PSUV’s Whip goes on a rampage against “smartass” bloggers who make fun of him]:

Honest:

There can be no bitter escuálido bosses running Revolutionary Enterprises. They have the right to work, but not as bosses; the Revolution cannot be forged with escuálidos. Whoever appoints an escuálido as a boss in a Ministry is betraying the Revolution.

Religious:

When I walk into an office [meaning public office, we’d like to think] and there are no portraits —or just the one— of our late President Hugo Chávez and compañero Maduro, then there must be a boss who is not a revolutionary.

Patriotic:

Let the escuálidos say whatever they want, but the party must defend the country by any means necessary with the militia.

Funny:

How can we attack Nicolás Maduro for situations that many times are not even the Government’s fault?

Diosdado used to be regarded as a silent strongman of the revolution who just couldn’t wait to flee the country to enjoy the spoils of war.

With Chávez’s untimely death, the struggles within chavismo —which they keep on denying just to remind us that they do exist—have heightened. He has now found himself in need of developing a public persona different from the bitter one he currently has. Keep in mind that Cabello is one of our least popular public figures.

As a consequence, he has started voicing his slandering speeches a little more. He has also taken over Mario Silva’s space on VTV to broadcast his wacky conspiracy theories once a week, launching in the process his surprisingly fair-looking and camera-eager daughter Daniela into the public sphere.

He’s also been actively using the courts and political police to uphold justice and crack down on… on… on freedom of speech —in his own name—; he gets into social media fights with public figures and POP stars (this case is particularly pathetic); and so much more, just to make himself current and to brutally project the cynicalpublic persona we’ve come to know and love.

For Diosdado, roasting human rights on the barbie while sharing some quality time with his family on a Saturday afternoon is all part of the same package. Why, he even wears an apron.