Rock Bottom Just Got a Little Bit Rockier [CORRECTED]

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First they came for the crucigrama makers, and I said nothing because I didn’t make crucigramas…

Correction: Panorama had this story wrong. Instead, Pérez Pirela will be PSUV’s candidate for Mayor of Maracaibo.

Noted crazy person Miguel Ángel Pérez Pirela has just been named Information Minister. 

If you don’t know who this is, picture a commie Glenn Beck, but way, way nuttier. Basically a paranoid schizophrenic has now been tapped to run the chavista propaganda machine.

Choice bits from his illustrious career on VTV after the jump…

Take it away, Carlos Antonio Suarez Muñoz,

Recuerdo mi primer Rabat. Ya acababa de hacer mi Bar-tender Mix Bar, y mi padre me dijo: “ya eres un hombre Carlos, precede tu la ceremonia” . Lance entonces los tradicionales cereales de letricas y los fruit loops sobre la mesa, y procedí a leer de ellos, mientras mirábamos de reojo la ventana ( como pedía la costumbre, en caso de que nuestros múltiples enemigos invisibles nos espiaran) . Sentí algo de pena: con 12 años, con un sombrero de aluminio y un traje de papel periódico, me sentía algo ridículo. Pero recordé entonces la tradición que ahora sostenía; de lo que el día representaba: ese dia en que Noe mato al dodo en el Arca por que pensó que estaba conspirando contra el, el día en que Juda Maccabeo no tomo de las aguas del Jordan por temor a que Antioco IV les hubiese puesto flúor para controlar nuestros preciosos fluidos corporales y entendí, que solo esta tradición, ahora bajo mi cuidado, mantenía a nuestro hogar a salvo de la rebelión de las nutrias y que no podía avergonzarme; si algo, debía estar orgulloso. Leí del cereal y encendí los protectores para protegernos de la radiación de los celulares y el wifi, y después, comimos la tradicional comida enlatada y las galletas deshidratadas ( reservas según la tradición, para cuando la sociedad colapse por el ataque zombie). Feliz Rabat amigos, y paz y prosperidad paraa añskjdñlkasj fposiknfklanjfnlksaflsakkrf Cthulhu Fhtag

75 thoughts on “Rock Bottom Just Got a Little Bit Rockier [CORRECTED]

    • Wait, Ernesto Villegas will be the candidate against Ledezma? What? What’s his slogan?
      “Pa’que los problemas de Caracas le resbalen, vota Villegas.” Jeez…

  1. Is there a school where conspiracy theory spewing media hacks learn how to behave on air? His entire shtick and his mannerisms are exactly the same as Glenn Beck’s.

      • why not, instead of always deflecting criticism, to address it. demonstrate that you’re not a mirror of your opponents by actually engaging in self-criticism every once in awhile.

        • Oh for fuck’s sake: I routinely address serious criticisms based on reasonable arguments. I do not routinely address straight out trolling, such as randomly claiming that my writing is the rightwing version of Pérez Pirela’s latest schizoid episode on the basis of nothing.

          • when was the last time (that you address ‘serious criticisms based on reasonable arguments’)? i really question what you mean by “routinely”, and wonder whether you ever consider the reasons you don’t receive more criticism that meets this criteria. sure, shame’s comment can be deflected as mere trolling, but it seems you find excuses in every opportunity. the entire community here is hostile to criticism of any sort. from what i’ve observed for the past year there’s been little to no attempt to curb extremism on the site (in a manner analogous to the failure of chavistas to curb extremism amongst its own ranks). so that criticism that you mirror el chavismo’s bad habits has a ring of truth.

            • Oh for cripe’s sake. If you want a love-in with Shame, get a room, and play your impersonation game to support the current dictatorship in Venezuela.
              Not that this will help you fathom the truth:

  2. We often hear that with great power come great insanity, let’s just hope the inverse is not true.

  3. It was about time. After Nora Uribe, Jesse Chacón, Andrés Izarra, Yuri Pimentel,
    William Lara, Andrés Izarra (again), Jesse Chacón (again), Blanca Eeckhout, Tania Díaz,
    Mauricio Rodríguez, Andrés Izarra (yet again) and Ernesto Villegas, we needed a new minister of information.

    My question is: why not Jesse Chacón yet again? I don’t like this irregularity. It would have been perfect: Jesse Chacón had declared 99 days ago he would stop being ministry for the “Popular Power’ of Electricity if the blackout mess was not resolved after 100 days.

    And tomorrow nobody will remember to ask Jesse Chacón about that (or about how the trial against Arné Chacón is going or why he is free).

    But Miguel Ángel Pérez will be fun. What will Chigüire Bipolar say about this?

    • Looks like Chiguire Bipolar once again will be put out of business. No one can parody this standup comic from the times I saw him on VTV. He is a parody of himself.

    • Maripuerta,
      I often heard from my sister that in years past there would be people from the manicomio de Bárbula who would enter one of the classrooms at the Universidad de Carabobo and start teaching…and students would sometimes believe for a minute or two that that was the real teacher…until someone would realise it was a crazy person. Perhaps this is how this guy started? Perhaps they let him talk too much and the real teacher never came?

  4. wow, rabat? jewish holiday?also, the small crossword is the solution of last day crossword….paranoid… paranoid… that is all

    • I like how the ‘rabat’ part just comes and goes without much explanation. Although I’m sure that it makes much more sense if one is a rabid anti-semite. It’s kind of amusing but mostly sad to see the ideological jumble that kicks around in these peoples’ heads.

  5. “First they came for the crucigrama makers, and I said nothing because I didn’t make crucigramas…”

    Oh my. That gave me a good chuckle. Funny stuff.

  6. To understand the amusingly high density of crazies and thugs that are *In* the government, as well as *Close to*, one must understand how the communist movement recruits new members: they know that the best way to capture them is as young as possible, but the church is the only ideological entity that usually has any substantial ‘market’ of parents that allow their childs to be brainwashed by them. Communists pick the next best thing, which is universities. They are on the look specially for particular traits as being social outcasts and misaligned characters. Violent aggressive tendencies are always a plus.

    Most people think that communists try to infiltrate unions, but the truth is that the usual union worker does not have the malleability required to shape a good communist militant. And the fact that they have a job and are relatively functioning members of society certainly does not help them

    • Actually most communists have leftist parents. The same goes for conservatives. So you opositores need to have more children and quick.

    • my thoughts exactly — CS.

      Eons ago, I got invited to a communist cell meeting by an Ohio-born college roomie who was a card-carrying member of the CP. It was the weirdest experience, all hush-hush, of course. I felt like I had landed on a planet of folks who couldn’t really talk to one another, except through a demonstration of how well they could spout marxist maxims. No one made any sense.

      Around 2005, I came across the same nonsense, at a local University presentation. There, in all their glory were Bolivarian-PhD-Soc. Ma Páez Victor and Chilean-born-Sorbonne-educated-Paris-Uprising-rebel-and-Cuban-immigrant Martha Harnecker. Another planet. This time, I had these characters better figured out. And when I stood up and contested the there-are-no-political-prisoners-in-Vzla spiel from Páez Victor, and the that-was-not-a-coup spiel on Chávez in 1992 from Martha Harnecker, the interjections from a few older students were predictable. One of them kept spinning the CIA routine, not making any sense or producing any validation. Another graduate student milled about in a long black cape, evidently enamoured with herself.

      I looked at the faces of the very young, and I worried that they might get easily sucked in, if their parental bullshit-allergic meters had not been on a strong enough setting.

  7. Now, if I didn’t miss anyone, Pérez Pirela is the 13th minister of Information (counting repetitions).
    Guys: he is NUMBER THIRTEEN! This must mean something.

    • I think if we send messages , like look what happen in these films with number 13, we will have lots of fun!

    • I know a group, I’m not gonna name them but they uuse psicology and mathematics to analyse hidden messages like these… Wait a minute… Yes, they tell me it means it was Colonel Mustard in the living room with a knife.

    • Were that to be true, ‘HF’ would be among the mildest of expletives one could think-up. Varela? …OMG. Just imagine, a government of mad, swivel-eyed loons presenting themselves on the world stage. wow.

    • Iris Varela? Attorney General? No joda!

      She’ll come up with some plan to round up anyone in opposition and send them to “work camps” for “re-orientation”.

      If this goes on, we are going to have to look to Cambodia to see what our “rock bottom” will look like.

  8. is it just my ears, or do I detect traces of an argie accent in PP? What’s his educational curriculum?

        • He is from Maracaibo. I’ve been told that he was a keen and able student, and he got an scolarship to study philosophy and theology in Rome by the city’s Archdiocese, through the influence of Rev. Gustavo Ocando Yamarte, a Church historian and head of Niños Cantores TV. Ocando Yamarte, you might remember, had his own opinion program from Maracaibo rebroadcast by VTV. But I’m unsure whether that’s the link to Chavismo’s “engagés”.

          Pérez Pirela also got a Political Science PhD, afaik. His work has been published by Rome’s Gregorian University.

          As a side note, we both got our first peer-reviewed article on “Notas y Documentos” the journal of the Latin American Chapter of the Jacques Maritain Institute (he’s one year my senior). The Journal used to be edited in Maracaibo, although published in Caracas, at IRFES. His first article was “On the Tyranny of the Majority” (“La Tiranía de la mayoría” Volumen 55-56, 1999, en Notas y Documentos, Caracas).

  9. I don’t know what to tell people inside Venezuela what to do to keep their mental sanity and prevent this contagious collective madness…. that first video is something else :O

    • You think he really believes that stuff? That’s just a cheap way to come off as a visionary in front of the ignorant Chavista rabble and lumpen and get them all talking about it cuando se reúnen a echarse palos.

  10. Well to be fair a choice like this simply reinforces the paranoia-as-governance strategy the government has used since forever. For example the umpteenth ‘conspiracion de magncidio’ announced yesterday included Posada Carriles, Colombia, former Honduran leader Roberto Micheletti and unnamed US government sources. When your entire domestic propaganda strategy hinges on Alex Jones or Glenn Beck levels of crazy, a nut like Perez Pirela becomes a natural choice.

  11. Nooo and the 2nd video almost top the first one…. that guy is very odd looking too, and the way he moves, man this is comedy gold jeezz lol

  12. If Pérez Pirela is the chavista version of Glenn Beck, is Mario Silva supposed to be Rush Limbaugh? I mean, they’re both fat, rich, bigoted assholes nobody -even in their own party- likes.

    • that’s not true. Arturo watched every episode of La Hojilla without fail. He loved Mario Silva, hung on his every word. I suspect the same is true of PP.

  13. I once saw the guy in VTV (without knowing anything about who he was ) and I actually thought that his was a comedy act (kid you not) , and remarked to myself ‘These guys are so mediochre that they cant even get a decent comedian into their cast ‘ . Now it turns out the guy is a philosopher and a big wig Chavista . I must be lossing it !!, how could I miss that it was meant to be an opinion program by one of their main intellectuals !!

    • I am shocked. I am deeply shocked. I had huge expectations with Pérez Pirela as Propagandaminister of our Vaterland.

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